I wouldn't have even gotten to UTSA if it wasn't for my mother. She is the one who pushed me to finish all of my college applications during the summer of 2008. Yeah, it felt like a complete drag back then, but then I didn't have to worry about apps during my senior year! It was really in my best interests, so I'm thankful for her nagging me to do it! Haha!
Anyway, I arrived at UTSA and my parents and sister helped me to move in. Let me just say how damn supportive my family is. They are there for me through it all. No matter what. They are ALL amazing, strong, loving people and I love them so much.
Here are some highlights from the move in:
I felt pretty lonely there my first year. I was alone a lot because I was in a new city where I didn't know anyone. I was also still figuring out what was wrong with my foot.
Once I started to create my friend base, things got better. I earned a 3.9 GPA my first semester! :) I was one happy roadrunner!
Of course, as I started to get more involved on campus and gained friendships, my grades balanced out with my social life.
My feet started to get worse and I was in and out of a wheelchair/crutches.
As many of you know, I met a boy in 2010. I won't even say his name, but he is the reason I had to leave San Antonio. My parents, despite the horrible situation, stuck by me every step of the way. My sister did the same. She even stood up for me when I couldn't stand up for myself. I couldn't have been luckier.
My friends, however, did not stick by me. People who I thought I could trust, who had been my "friends" for our entire lives, ended up stabbing me in the back and leaving when it got hard. I couldn't believe it. I had lost the people who I thought loved me most. I was devastated. People were ashamed of my pain and didn't want to hear about it and it hurt so bad. Because I NEEDED my friends - I needed them more than ever during that time. Nonetheless, they deserted me and I felt so alone. I only had a few people who stood by me, like Lexie and Ashton.
I was a wreck. My boyfriend sucked the life out of me. I was always unhappy, always angry.
I had lost my sparkle and I was afraid. I didn't understand how he could claim to love me when I'd often find myself hurting. He'd pin my wrists to the wall and scream in my face. One day, with the lights off, he straddled me on his roommate's bed and started to strangle me. He leaned down to my face and told me, "I could kill you and drag your dead body out there right now in front of everyone and I wouldn't care."
I thought I was going to die. Why he let me go, I'll never know. I was having so much trouble coping. Thankfully I met a really cool group of people in the hot tub one night. We had a bubble party! Haha! They are in the photo below.
Unfortunately, they ended up moving and I of course felt better moving home. I didn't want to stay in San Antonio after all the crap that had happened.
I had to rebuild from there. Getting out and going home was such a relief. I felt better, not surrounded by memories of a past that had slowly destroyed me from the inside out. Being at home with my family made me feel safe and wanted, and I slowly revealed to my family what had happened to me back at school. It was so unbelievably hard, but it was an issue that had to be confronted.
I won't lie and say it was an easy process, telling them. It wasn't. It hurt to watch my mom's face fall, knowing there was nothing she could do about what had happened to me back then. But we could rebuild.
So there were my parents, behind me every step of the way, urging on my progress, being there for me no matter what. Being the best parents in the world. I cannot thank them enough for not deserting me or being ashamed of me, like some of my "friends" had done. They are amazing parents. Along with that, they were there for me uring my RSD diagnosis. I got my nuerostimulator implant September of 2011 and started walking again! I was so happy! I could tell that my family was, too. They were so supportive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APeqbLgkexM
Back to Summer of 2012. Enter Trey. We had dinner one night at Chili's just to catch up because we hadn't talked in a few years. We had a great time catching up and he invited me out to karaoke with his friends that coming Thursday. Little did I know that the people I would meet there would end up being some of my best friends.
That summer - I needed it. I needed those new friends. I needed to regain my confidence, my self-esteem, my happiness. And due to the presence of those incredible people in my life, I did. I cannot thank these people enough for restoring my faith in the human race and the realization that love is not a myth - they show me love EVERY SINGLE DAY. These people know the true meaning of friendship and try their hardest to be good people. And they succeed :)
Let me talk to you about this girl right here.
Rachel became my best friend that summer. We balanced each other out in such great ways, and ended up learning from each other's strengths and weaknesses. She taught me to always consider the other side of a situation and walk in another person's shoes before judging them. She has been there for me through good times (JAMBA JUICE) and bad times (panic attacks). She has showed up at 2 AM to eat oreos with me, even after finding out that we could only dip them in a milk bottle for so long until our hands couldn't reach anymore. XD She is the best and this girl deserves so many wonderful things in life!
Then of course my parents urged me to go back to school. Oh man I wasn't sure if I was ready... I was terrified of failing. But, with the help of my mom and dad, I ended up enrolling last minute at Sam Houston State University in the fall of 2012. It was hard to get everything in order, but we did it!
And did I mention how freaking lucky I was to get the LAST ROOM AVAILABLE IN THE ARBORS?! I was paired with a random roommate named Alex Hansen. Mom was worried she'd be weird or crazy or a hooker, but holy moses - she was none of those things! Well, she IS weird, but it's the good kind ;)
Alex is one of the main reasons I am who I am today. That girl knows how to love! She is so kind, gentle, and generous and always puts others before herself. Being her roommate was an amazing experience. Through that school year, we grew so close so fast and I really enjoyed going to school and living with her! Not only did she help me tremendously through recovering from my abusive relationship, she always was there with a comforting word or a hug no matter what time of night it was.
Christmas was a happy time. I got to see Emma, my little niece! :)
Emma can ALWAYS put a smile on my face. She knows immediately when I'm feeling bad or when my foot hurts and always tries to make me feel better. She is the sweetest little girl I have ever met and I adore her. She has changed my outlook on kids and life overall. She has taught me to be kinder and gentler and to, above all else, be unapologetically myself!
The new year promised new opportunities and a new outlook. I was ready to get things DONE! So I started making lists - TONS OF LISTS. In fact, I currently have 20 lists on my desk at this very moment. Haha. I enjoy being organized and knowing what I need to get done.
I got in gear and started getting super serious about my future. I took my projects seriously. I was taking a Practicum in Publishing class and our final project was really cool. We had to design a mock literary journal along with a proposal and a ten minute pitch in our prof's office as if he was a possible investor. I was nervous but I did it and loved it! When I asked my professor about my project, he sent me this:
Needless to say, I was beyond thrilled. I couldn't be happier. I worked SO HARD on that project and it was really important that I did well on it. Hooray for getting an A!
The summer was BUSY. I mean EXTREMELY BUSY. Between planning my sister's wedding, summer classes, and picking out graduate schools, I barely had time to breathe! But I got to spend time with the people who mattered most and that's what counts :)
This guy right here ^ He ended up surprising the HECK out of me when he showed up at my house with a bouquet of roses. I did NOT see that coming. But I was so glad that he did :) Since we first met in 2012, Chase has been a great addition to my life. He makes me laugh so hard that I cry, he respects me, and he is understanding.
I also met an amazing girl that would end up being one of my best friends: Laura, my wifey. It all started with an awkward meeting during a game of Spin the Bottle at Vintage. She basically told me that her best friend wanted me. LOL. And this is how we became friends XD
After that was my last semester of college! Holy moses! :) I had a new roommate (Ashley Sanders) and I was ready to finish strong!
Ashley and I being weirdos after a hilarious trip to Sonic :P
Special thanks for surviving a HORRIDLY BUSY, INSANE semester goes to: Ross Irvin and James Ross.
We met in August of 2012, and since then Ross has always been an awesome friend. We wrote together, sang together, drank together, etc. He stays up with me until 3 AM when I'm having panic attacks or pain flares and makes sure that I'm okay. He takes me to movies for free because he's manager and we're best frands like that (BE JEALOUS OF MY VIP STATUS). But above all else, he's always there for me and he's an incredible friend. He constantly reminds me to be myself because myself is AWESOME. He's awesome, too :D
This kiddo right here is James Ross. We have chocolate/wine/horror movie nights and discuss morbid jokes that other people won't laugh at. We are screwed up in the head and PROUD OF IT! I enjoy our gory psychopathic conversations and how he laughs at my messed up comments instead of being disgusted by them. We are quite a team and I really have appreciated his friendship. I'm gonna miss him when I move out of Huntsville! *sobs*
Here I am today. A college graduate with a B.A. in English! I really am so grateful to my loved ones, employers, professors, and classmates that have supported me over the years. I wouldn't be who I am today without any of you :)
.jpg)
