Do What You Want To Do!

Someone once told me, "Never let anyone make you feel like you aren't good enough." That girl's name was Alexandra Gonzales. What she said that day stuck with me over the years and still fuels me to this day. Though her initial intent was to give me advice about dating, the message carried over into other parts of my life.

1. Doctors
In the beginning, it was really hard. Doctors would either not listen or assume I was lying or exaggerating my pain. One doctor told me I would just have to live with it for the rest of my life. I didn't like that answer and I sure as hell was not going to accept it. He may have thought that I was overreacting and could learn to just put up with the pain, but that was not the case. He didn't understand. I wanted a cure. I needed to be healed.  That's why I kept pressing on - I wanted to be better so bad. No matter how many doctors told me I couldn't be "fixed," I kept on looking for a solution to my pain. That's something I hope you will do in your life. Don't give up. No matter what anyone says or tells you about the future, YOU have the choice to keep trying or to give up. No one really fails until they give up. Keep on looking! Keep on trying! We will find a cure one day, even if other people don't believe it.

2. Friends and family
Taking time for yourself is so important when living with this disease. This can put a strain on relationships. That's why education is so vital in keeping our relationships healthy. Make sure to communicate with your loved ones about this disease so that they understand what's going on. Cancelling at the last minute on a good friend may be rude, but if you need to do it, you need to do it. Don't ever feel bad for choosing to take care of YOUR HEALTH first. People may call you selfish or standoffish; ignore them. You know what is going to make you feel better and what is going to make your pain worse. If you need to take a break, then take a break! Your loved ones will need to learn how to be patient with you during this time. I plan ahead oftentimes, just in case. I have ice packs at my friends' places and pain meds with me in case I need them. My family and friends understand that I can't stand for long periods of time, and always have a chair for me. Speak up if you want to be heard!

3. Romantic relationships
This one is a biggie. Dating someone with a disease like RSD/CRPS can be extremely challenging. Patience is absolutely necessary. My last boyfriend was understanding about it at first, but then started losing his patience. We were going to go to a party one night and I just didn't feel comfortable leaving my dorm or driving. I was in too much pain. He got really upset and it made me feel so self-conscious. He kept pushing me to go, which was very rude. We ended up going, but it was an ordeal getting there... Your significant other should be okay with being flexible and possibly having to trade a fun night out for a relaxing night in, watching movies in bed together. Above all, your boyfriend/girlfriend should respect you. You are not less of a person than they are because you have RSD. Do not let them make jokes about your condition or push you around simply because they can. That's not okay and it's not fair. Make sure they understand that you are not a "broken toy" and you deserve just as much respect as they do.

4. The workplace
It's hard getting a job when you have pain. Stating disability on a job application sometimes feels like signing a form that says "don't hire me." Don't EVER apologize for your disease during a job interview. They either understand or they don't. This is, yet again, where education comes in. Be honest about your abilities and make sure they know what accommodations you need to get the job done! If they're good people, they will look past your RSD/CRPS. But also be realistic; if you have severe RSD in your legs, don't sign up to be a track coach. There are several organizations that can help people with disabilities get jobs, and I have listed some below:

http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic//disability/jobsearch.htm
http://askjan.org/job/
http://www.gettinghired.com/
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/09/25/best-way-for-disabled-workers-to-find-a-new-job/


5. Yourself
How you treat yourself has a direct correlation to your personal health. Being sad and frustrated can lead to worse health. Treat yourself well! Work on your self-confidence! I read one time in Seventeen Magazine that you should look yourself in the mirror each morning, hair undone and makeup not yet on, and just say good things about yourself. Say that you are beautiful. After awhile, you will start believing it. I know this sounds silly, but it works! :) Go after what you want, and stop caring about what others think. Chase your happiness. Don't let anyone tell you that doing that is selfish or a waste of time, because it's not. I found so much happiness through doing this. Positivity is very important in building a healthy self-image. Also, take time to relax. Take a bubble bath. Drink some wine. Read a book. Pamper yourself! :)  YOU should be your number one priority. That will lessen anxiety and help you to feel better about yourself. Valuing yourself is a great step towards healing, both emotionally and physically.

Feel free to comment or ask questions below! :) Happy healing!