Why Me?

I battled so hard with this question for a long, long time. Honestly, I can't say that I have the answer, and that's okay.

Initially I had several negative thoughts running through my head:

1 - I was being punished for something bad I had done in the past.

2 - I was being taught a lesson about patience and perseverance.

3 - God wanted me to be broken.

All of these thoughts fueled my depression. I didn't want a lesson; I just wanted to feel better! I'm sure many of you have felt the same way. Those inspirational posters and their messages can only go so far. When you're having a pain flare, their message is muddled by the immense agony you are experiencing. You focus on what you've lost, and it sucks.

So when you battle with the question "why me," remember that it's okay to not know the answer. Having this disease doesn't make you less of a person than anyone else. Instead of thinking "why me," a question that hinders progress towards healing, start thinking, "How can I heal?"